it’s again time for a website update, tomorrow another day going to Stanford to see the neurological clinic and the very well educated people who run the phycility. How do you spell physility?
I have had so many not so much ups and downs but rather ins and outs that I can’t begin to account for them. The learning curve on head injury still remains to be arching toward the apex.
but the good thing is that I have regained my ability to speak in metaphor.
I finally got a call up from Dr Lopez at Stanford, to whom I have been on a waiting list to see since my last Stanford visit to see Dr Sheur the neurosurgeon, who at the time referred me to Lopez after having sitting, stern with me, looking me in eye that I was done racing my bike for the season.
tears welled up in eyes he was looking in.
jennifer and sat outside the neuro clinic for an hour afterward, watching people on the pathway toward the entry, walking past the flower garden. We sat talking and finally being able to acknowledge the significance of the past occurance. . . how crashing and burning had taken more than the get-up-and-go response that I was accusutomed to; the attempt to make a semi-heroic comback dispite the normal time table they give people with things like broken colar bones. This one was a broken brain. Something you don’t risk breaking again–not until due time has past, at least.
The nite before going south to Palo Alto Stanfordville I begain the break down, realizing not the more severe head injury at the Gila, rather the comimg to consciousness in the ambulance in Tour of CA when I heard John LeLangue’s voice in the vehicle and soon after realizing that I had crashed and that too it must have been significant enough that he abandoned the director sportif in the team car race position to be with me!?! The reason for that: he saw me go down outside the team car and was that concerned about my well being. The night before going down to get the call from Dr Sheur, I think I new then what he was going to say. I owned up the emmensity of it all, rather than trying to contort it into my future plans and training and racing plans and hopes to move on.
Tomorrow, hopefully I’ll get some constructive gage on the steps to recovery, but for now I have at least come to terms that this, need be, is going to be a patience-filled process.
Much has been brought to my awareness, as I am redrawing connections in my mind from heart through my brain and to the experienced world around me. . . how fragile this life and the delight of living it is! Holy moly.